Post Op Day 14 "The haze"

Whew……I cannot believe it has been 2 weeks since the "under the knife" thingy happened.  And for the most part, the last 2 weeks have been somewhat of a blur.  Well, definitely the 1st week post-op.

Here's how I remember the whole surgery day…….up very early.  A lot like race morning.  In fact, the whole day was kind of like race day.

Surgery Day:  Nervous and not supposed to eat.  I didn't.  Even when that evil nurse tried to trick me.
Race Day:  Nervous and must eat.  But usually can't since I'm nervous.

Surgery Day:  Morning clothes bag!  Except I had to get completely undressed and wear a silly gown with a silly hat.
Race Day:  Morning clothes bag!  But no nakedness.  And no silly gown.  Although you could argue the swim cap is a silly hat.

Morning clothes bag and silly gown and cap

Surgery Day:  Medical bracelet.
Race Day: Race bracelet.

Surgery Day:  Morning cocktail aka sedative.  And a completely goofy Michelle after that.  Yes, there is a video.  And no, I'm not going to post it.  Suffice it to say, I was completely whacked out.
Race Day: Morning cocktail of Osmo.  Caffeine buzz.  Totally sober.

Dr. Feelgood on the right, next to me.  

Surgery Day:  Race begins errrrr surgery begins.  I somewhat remember being wheeled into the operating room and looking around at all the nurses/assistants in there.  And thinking wow, lots of people…..and that's all I remember.
Race Day:  Race begins and I remember EVERYTHING!!!!  For the most part.  Unless there was an epic bonk.

Next thing I remember is post-op coming around and talking to my murse (man nurse) who was da-bomb.  Seriously, I may have professed my undying love for him.  But things are really fuzzy.  And then Sonja came in.  And we talked to the anesthesiologist (I spelled that right the first time!!!!) about racing and sport and he got in trouble cuz he talked to us too long.  Cool guy from Austria.  Dr. Stull came in (right?) and went over the surgery.  He's awesome by the way.  As we knew, MCL was just fine.  He did the ACL reconstruction without any problems, and shaved the 5-10% lateral meniscus tear.

And then it was time to go home.  I was feeling awesome.  Really.  No pain and completely high on whatever anesthesia was left in my system, the femoral block was working wonderfully and they may have started me on the percocets.  Don't remember.

So I went home.  To my second home…PIC's casa.  PIC came through big-time for me since I didn't really have anyone to watch over me after surgery.  I wanted to stay with my sis but she has an office job and Sonja/Troy work from home and there were a lot less stairs there than at my sis's.  I'm soooo glad she and Troy were up for the job.  I don't think I can say Thank You enough!!!

Now, here's the funny part.  I had surgery Thursday morning.  I left their place on Sunday.  And I just don't remember much in between.  There was a trip to Great Clips so I could have my hair washed.  There was frozen yogurt when I thought for a moment I was going to be sick.  But basically, I slept.  I listened to music.  I watched some movies (but don't ask details please).  I couldn't read since my vision was blurry.  PIC kept feeding me. And every 4 hours, Sonja would

give me percocets.  Every. 4. Hours.  And yes, we set the alarm for the night time.  But I had enough people scare the shit out of me to stay on top of my meds.  So I did.  And the weekend and much of the next week is a blur because of it.

Annie, Sonja and me at yogurt.  Annie is such a sweetheart - she looked in on me all the time!!

BUT…..I really had NO pain.  Seriously.  NO pain.  Certainly never got above a 5 on the 10 pain scale.  It was awesome.  So, thank you to everyone who told me to stay on my pain meds!!!  It can be argued that I may have a higher pain tolerance than most but whatever….NO pain!

I weened myself off the percs pretty quickly - by Tuesday night and was just taking advil at that point.  I really wanted to take a shower.  There was a lap around Target on Monday to get me out of the house and feeling like I was kind of human. PIC and I went to see a movie on Tuesday.  I know I tried to work and fell asleep on  a conference call after an hour.  Looking back now, I don't even know why I even tried to participate!!  I don't even know why I tried to work!!  (as an aside, sorry to my athletes that may have received backward swims, treadmill runs on your hands, and trainer rides featuring 100 push-up between sets)

In the meantime, I spent hours on the CPM machine (the passive motion machine).  I missed my kids.  And I tried my best to take care of myself.  I googled how to shower after surgery and then took a blissful shower.  I ditched my crutches because honestly, they were more of a pain in my ass than trying to hobble around without them.

By the second week, I was seriously starting to go a bit mental.  I mean really, I cannot stand being non-moving for so long.  Fortunately, good friends reminded me that I just needed to get through this week and things would start looking up.

OK, this post is getting long.  First PT appointment post coming up!

January 30, 2014

Surgery has been scheduled!!  The BIG day is February 6th and I just wish it was tomorrow.  I'm really not good at waiting.  Some may even say I have close to no patience.  I respectfully disagree.  Look at me being patient for the last 31 days and only a couple of mild outbursts:)

So yes, it has been 31 days since my ACL decided to give me the big middle finger and rupture.  I have faithfully been following my rehab/pre-hab schedule.  Which is basically doing some leg exercises with e-stim so that my knee is as strong as possible going into surgery.  

Typical night at my house.  Charlotte playing Wii, and me on the e-stim.

Here's what happened at my last doctor appointment……I got lectured for not bringing my doc a coffee.  Good lord.  Then he got down to the business of examining my knee.  The big questions were: how stable is my knee?  And, how's my MCL doing?  Is there a tear?  

The big answers:  The knee is moderately unstable.  Which means that if I didn't have it repaired I could swim and bike and be really very happy.  Running would be a big question mark.  I certainly couldn't run trails which is about all I usually run on.  So that seems like it would be a problem.  And the MCL?  Well, it is FINE!!!!  Thank goodness for a little piece of good news.  

Swelling as of a week ago.

I had already decided that the ACL needed to be reconstructed.  My life is far too active at this point.  And honestly, I cannot miss another season of skiing with my daughters.  I don't know how much longer they will want to ski with me and I want to be hanging out with them on the slopes as long as possible.  So even if my knee was stable, I had decided to have the surgery.  Skiing is my first love.  I grew up skiing.  I never moved away from Colorado because of skiing.  I went to college in Boulder because I would be close to skiing.  Triathlon is my second sporting love.  And I do want to keep training and competing.  So not being able to run is not an option.  

Then the decision of an auto-graft or an allo-graft.  I had been told that because of my age (damn that sounds old), I wouldn't have an option.  I would get a cadaver tendon (allo I think).  Which would possibly mean an easier recovery (or less painful).  But my doc and I discussed it and since I am actually more active now than I was 5-10 years ago, it would be best to use my own tendon.  So he'll be taking part of the patellar tendon.  Apparently this involves cutting and drilling bone and all sorts of things I'm not sure I want to know about.  But, because the tendon and bone is my very own, my body should be able to assimilate easier/faster than a cadaver.  

My favorite re-hab buddy.  

1 week.  Yikes.  Recovery begins Feb. 7 and is a long slow process.  The first 4-6 weeks are the most important as that's when the new tendon is being integrated into my knee.  And though I may be lacking in patience I do actually follow instructions very well. Sometimes.  I will listen to my doctor.  I will listen to my physical therapist.  I won't push my recovery.  I'll do what they say and no more (and certainly no less).  

 #strongerthanbefore

And Go Broncos!

Dealing with Injury

Yes, I have missed dearly my normal training antics with PIC!!!!  So, much to my surprise, she brought her video camera (who thought giving her a GoPro was a good idea?) to the pool the other day.

Enjoy!

January 6, 2014

It's been 1 week without an ACL.  Life is pretty much the same and Im getting accustomed to Bruce the Brace although we (me) argue sometimes.  It gets pretty warm and itchy so I also have some nice scratches from the post brace wearing scratching sessions.

But today was exciting for an entirely new reason…..my first PT appointment.!  Her name is Carla and I have to tell you, she's pretty awesome.  She tore her ACL/MCL a couple of years ago on one of those silly bike falls when you are going like 2 mph and you can't get your foot unclipped fast enough.  Dr. Stull fixed her up.  Ouch.  I guess I'm glad mine was skiing???

Oh, and I've decided to re-vamp my ski fall story.  It now looks and sounds a lot like what Lindsey Vonn did last year…..you know, I was racing the gates going like 50mph and hit a bit of bad snow.  Lots of somersaults and tumbles.  Airlifted off the mountain.  Now back to my actual life….

Anywho, she did the knee exam and we talked about surgery and recovery and I really liked her!!  Especially when she said that Kona is not at all out of the picture.  And bike riding in France is not out of the picture (as long as I have enough gears).  Recovery basically takes place on the bike and in the pool.  So if I can be running by May…..

Carla's on the floor demonstrating an exercise.  I'm listening intently. 

So currently I can bend my knee to a 115 degree angle.  Normal is 130-150.  By the way, all my PT friends - if this is a bunch of BS let me know before I fall in love with her:)  And I should be able to ride a bike!!!  YAY!!  But only for 15 minutes.  BOOO!!!!  I have a series of exercises to do 2-3x daily and I see her again on Wednesday for my first real session.  I have a feeling she may put the hurt on.  Bring it!!!

Charlotte and Kona helping out with PT.

January 3, 2014

Today I had my follow-up appointment with Dr. Stull.  With a couple of "processing" days under my belt  I was ready to talk recovery and repair.  The doc walks in and knows he has to tell me some bad news but I beat him to the punch - I already know.

He sat down after looking at the MRI's and we talked.  Diagnosis: ruptured ACL, Grade 2 MCL sprain, possible meniscus tear, bone bruising.  Although for the life of me, I have no idea how I got the bone bruising???  The knee didn't hit the ground.  I think.  After that god-awful noise, I really don't remember much about the fall.  First thing he says is no surgery.  For now.  He does not operate acutely - we need to wait for the swelling to go down and for me to get some movement back (although I guess there is some doc in Vail that does do this all the time - the debate is about post surgical stiffness in the knee - my non-medical understanding).  But in 3 weeks, depending on how I'm recovering, decisions will need to be made.

In 3 weeks, if I have stability in my knee the question will be if I have the surgery or not.  Apparently there are lots of folks out there with no ACL.  Who knew?  And if you think about the sport of triathlon, it's pretty straight forward.  Not a whole lot of side to side movement going on.  I could pick up training and be "good to go" (maybe).  But there is a lifestyle question as well (especially since I'm middle aged - dear god when did that happen)…..which for me is do I want to ski again?  Do I want to ski with my kiddos?  And the answer to that is YES.  My girls are so disappointed that we won't be skiing together again this season!  I don't want to miss out on this time on the slopes together!  And I need an ACL to do that.  But if I delay surgery to repair in order to concentrate on Kona, it will basically mean missing 2 ski seasons.

So how important is Kona?

However, in 3 weeks if there isn't enough stability, there isn't really a decision to be made other than how quickly I can get under the knife.  And then the question will be how quickly I can recover.  But remember that recovery involves lots of bike riding…..and swimming……we all know I've suffered through many Ironman runs…..

Now I basically do PT to get ready for surgery.  Or not.  I start on Monday.  And yes, I'm going to treat this like training.  Maybe I should record all my sessions and rehab in Training Peaks?

On another note, thank you for all the comments, emails, Facebook messages!!  I appreciate all of them……and it's time to move forward and be positive.  I've done my wallowing in self pity.  I've cried my tears. And sure, I'll do it again.  I try to be a positive person.  I want to look at things as half-full.  I want to see the good in all situations.  Now I have to apply this to me and my knee.

Best comment on the last post was from Punky.  "Worst. Naked. Photo. Ever."

December 30, 2013

It’s a new blog.  My other site is dedicated to training and racing and other fun stuff so I thought it would be good to start something different to chronicle my recovery from a torn ACL and a return to racing and Kona (please, please, please) in October 2014 and skiing. BTW, thank you Troy for the blog name - perfect!

I’ve always heard that you know when you’ve torn your ACL.  It’s supposed to sound like a “pop”.  And anyone I have ever talked to about it says…..you just know.  Right away…

After 37 years of skiing with only 2 minor injuries, I finally did the BIG one.  It was a beautiful day and I was planning on skiing aggressively (like I ski any other way) with a new ski friend.  And, at one of my favorite areas A-Basin.  I had skied 2 days before with my girls and was ready to just pound it!!  I couldn’t wait! 

3^rd run of the day…..a few turns in and all of a sudden I am in the middle of a fall.  Which is really strange since I NEVER EVER fall. Seriously, ask my friends…..I just don’t fall.  And then the fall turns very bad and scary and I’m heading downhill backwards and I’m gaining speed.  And then I heard it.  It wasn’t a pop.  It was more of a tearing, pop-y kinda sound.  But it wasn’t that distinct pop I had always heard about (maybe it was) so my denial of what had actually happened kicked in – within 10 seconds.  (OK, fine. It was a pop) Nice.

Of course, I stood up right away…..I’m with a new ski friend!!!  I don’t want the day to be over let alone my season (ski and otherwise).  No, no, no!  So I skied down.  I skied OK but I felt the instability.  At this point I think I’m probably in a state of shock.  This can’t possibly be happening…..I really fucked up my knee.  I head up the stairs to the lodge and it’s already becoming stiff and hard to move.  And felt some more instability walking to a table (think knee buckling on the inside).

I called my dad.  I called my ortho.  I did not call Sonja.  I talked to ski patrol.  And although everyone knows what has happened, no one actuallty says those 3 ugly letters outloud.  (shhhhh…..it’s the ACL)

So yes, there have been tears.  The inevitable why me? Poor me? Blah blah blah.  I’ll never ski again, I won’t be able to go to Kona, no riding in France this summer.  Not to mention, how am I going to manage my Wildtree business if I’m on crutches??? (still working on this)

I spend New Year’s Eve at the doctor and then getting an MRI.  Dad read it (major advantage of having a radiologist as my dad) and confirmed what we already knew it was.  And then he said it out loud.  The ACL is fully torn along with a beautiful partial tear of the MCL and some major bone bruising. From one stupid fall. AWESOME!!! 

Friday I go in for the “official” diagnosis and treatment plan.  I shut down WebMD because the recovery times seem to be far too long for me to keep my sanity.  My doctor rocks (Dr. Phil Stull FYI) and I’m sure I’ll be having surgery soon. And then another round of the “poor me’s”, “why me’s” blah blah blah. 

Here we go…..this should be quite an interesting journey.  Fortunately, my Dr. does rock and understands the mindset of an athlete (TypeA, B, C….).  He gave me permission to swim with a pull buoy and that's about it.  Maybe I should enter the state swim meet in March???